Lending Library (Doctor Who/Dream)
Sep. 12th, 2003 02:53 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
applecameronI genuinely have no idea if this will amuse anyone else, but the idea made me laugh out loud when it first arrived, so I wrote it.
Thus,
Author: Apple Cameron, Sept 12, 2003
Title: Lending Library
Fandom: Doctor Who (Eight), Niel Gaiman's Sandman
Featuring: the Doctor, Samantha Jones, Dream.
Sam was trying to read "Bring Me The Head of Prince Charming", by Roger Zelazny and Robert Sheckley.
The Doctor walked over to her from where he'd been hitting random buttons on the TARDIS, turned his body nearly upside down to read the wrong-way-up bookjacket, and grinned like a maniac.
"Sheckley! I love Sheckley! There's that one bit, in that one book? Side-splitting."
"Absolutely," Sam muttered, trying to ignore him. It didn't work.
"Which one are you reading next? What others have you got?"
The Doctor plopped cross-legged and began to examine the pile of books by Sam's chair. "Read that one 10 times...oh, that's a good one" He held up a slim paperback. "You'll like this one, Sam." Perused the rest, muttering "10 times", "20 times", "goodness, 27 times, my my my."
Sam turned a page that she hadn't read, and then turned it back to start over. "Would you care to borrow one?"
"Well....all these I've read so often!" Came the plaintive response.
Sam shut her eyes. Opened them again. "Are there any you *haven't* read at least 10 times already?"
"Hmm. Er." The Doctor made a monkey face. "No."
Then he sprang up, turned his high-wattage smile on Sam, and grabbed her hand. "But I know where to find more!"
He dragged her over to the TARDIS controls and began flipping switches madly.
"All right. Now, close your eyes."
"What?"
"Close your eyes, Sam."
"Why am I closing my eyes?"
"Because. This is the bit where you have your eyes closed!"
"Are you closing your eyes?"
"Oh, yes! We need to jump to a different angle."
She closed her eyes. A button, toggle, or switch, was depressed, toggled, or flipped. She wasn't sure which.
"That should do it!"
The TARDIS hummed.
"Where are we going?"
"Oh, you'll see. Don't worry. It's going to be fun."
She cocked a fist on her hip. "Fun in a I-should-be-wearing-plate-armor kind of way? Or just 'fun'?"
"Fun."
Sam turned and headed to her room. "I'm getting the plate armor."
The Doctor lunged and grabbed her shoulders. "No, no!" He gestured grandly at the TARDIS, humming sweetly. "We've arrived."
The TARDIS doors opened onto a bizarre landscape. Starkly drawn hills and a remote castle, that, as they looked at it, suddenly was quite close.
"Where are we?"
The Doctor bounded down a small hill, dragged Sam by the hand over a bridge (with moat), and spoke to one of the stone beasts guarding the castle doors.
"The Doctor and companion. To see him."
The stone lion turned and regarded them with unblinking eyes. "The Doctor? Of. What?"
The Doctor waggled his fingers. "You know. Time Lords. Gallifrey. I'm the Doctor."
There was a pause and then a rumbling noise, stone on stone on stone. The lion bowed its head. "My master bids you enter. You shall find him in the library."
Sam looked behind her as they trotted up the shallow stairs to the doors. The lion was sticking out its tongue at them.
Inside it was beautiful, in a gothic, graphic-novel gravity-optional kind of way.
The Doctor led them down a long gallery and to the left, knocking once on a door.
"Come." The voice...dripped into Sam's head like an unequal simile.
The Doctor pushed in, Sam on his coattails.
The place was a library, an incredible library, rows and rows leading off into the distance. The whole affair was lit by candles. Sam opened her mouth to say "whoa, fire hazard", and stopped.
There was a singular being seated behind a wooden desk.
His hair was so black there needed to be a new word for it. His skin was pale. Long arms, gangly neck. Big eyes on a lonely-looking face. Behind the desk hung a picture of the most beautiful, cheerful/sad woman she'd ever seen. Same hair. Same pale face. Obviously related. She wore a large ankh.
The Doctor walked right up to the desk, and bowed. In the frock coat, it looked graceful. Then he said one word. "Sheckley."
"Sheckley?" The man repeated.
"Sheckley." The Doctor affirmed.
The man -- was he? for his shadow changed its shape -- leaned his head against one hand and looked at his intruders. "The Doctor. Come to visit my library."
"Well, who wouldn't?"
"Hmmmmmm." Extremely long, extremely pale fingers toyed with a bit of yarn, cat's cradling for an eyeblink and then coming to rest. "You are not often in my realm." Those dark eyes pinned Sam. "Though Samantha I know well."
Sam opened her mouth, and then shut it.
The Doctor clasped his hands behind his back and rocked on his heels. "Well?"
The drip took on a tone of near-amusement. "My brother says you and your kind drive the Gray Women to distraction."
The Doctor grinned. "Well, I certainly hope so. Distraction is when all the really interesting things happen."
One side of the black-haired man's lips quirked, slowly. "So you say." He looked down at a piece of parchment on the desk. Then back up. "All right. You may read them."
A stack of books materialized, like something out of a Star Trek episode, on the corner of the desk.
"Lovely! Delightful of you."
The man was still amused. "Enjoy."
The Doctor scooped up the stack, turned to Sam, and then halted. He spun on his heel. "Um. Listen, I don't suppose..."
A dark eyebrow rose in the white face.
"Since I'm already here."
The other eyebrow rose.
"Any new Terry Pratchett?"
Thus,
Author: Apple Cameron, Sept 12, 2003
Title: Lending Library
Fandom: Doctor Who (Eight), Niel Gaiman's Sandman
Featuring: the Doctor, Samantha Jones, Dream.
Sam was trying to read "Bring Me The Head of Prince Charming", by Roger Zelazny and Robert Sheckley.
The Doctor walked over to her from where he'd been hitting random buttons on the TARDIS, turned his body nearly upside down to read the wrong-way-up bookjacket, and grinned like a maniac.
"Sheckley! I love Sheckley! There's that one bit, in that one book? Side-splitting."
"Absolutely," Sam muttered, trying to ignore him. It didn't work.
"Which one are you reading next? What others have you got?"
The Doctor plopped cross-legged and began to examine the pile of books by Sam's chair. "Read that one 10 times...oh, that's a good one" He held up a slim paperback. "You'll like this one, Sam." Perused the rest, muttering "10 times", "20 times", "goodness, 27 times, my my my."
Sam turned a page that she hadn't read, and then turned it back to start over. "Would you care to borrow one?"
"Well....all these I've read so often!" Came the plaintive response.
Sam shut her eyes. Opened them again. "Are there any you *haven't* read at least 10 times already?"
"Hmm. Er." The Doctor made a monkey face. "No."
Then he sprang up, turned his high-wattage smile on Sam, and grabbed her hand. "But I know where to find more!"
He dragged her over to the TARDIS controls and began flipping switches madly.
"All right. Now, close your eyes."
"What?"
"Close your eyes, Sam."
"Why am I closing my eyes?"
"Because. This is the bit where you have your eyes closed!"
"Are you closing your eyes?"
"Oh, yes! We need to jump to a different angle."
She closed her eyes. A button, toggle, or switch, was depressed, toggled, or flipped. She wasn't sure which.
"That should do it!"
The TARDIS hummed.
"Where are we going?"
"Oh, you'll see. Don't worry. It's going to be fun."
She cocked a fist on her hip. "Fun in a I-should-be-wearing-plate-armor kind of way? Or just 'fun'?"
"Fun."
Sam turned and headed to her room. "I'm getting the plate armor."
The Doctor lunged and grabbed her shoulders. "No, no!" He gestured grandly at the TARDIS, humming sweetly. "We've arrived."
The TARDIS doors opened onto a bizarre landscape. Starkly drawn hills and a remote castle, that, as they looked at it, suddenly was quite close.
"Where are we?"
The Doctor bounded down a small hill, dragged Sam by the hand over a bridge (with moat), and spoke to one of the stone beasts guarding the castle doors.
"The Doctor and companion. To see him."
The stone lion turned and regarded them with unblinking eyes. "The Doctor? Of. What?"
The Doctor waggled his fingers. "You know. Time Lords. Gallifrey. I'm the Doctor."
There was a pause and then a rumbling noise, stone on stone on stone. The lion bowed its head. "My master bids you enter. You shall find him in the library."
Sam looked behind her as they trotted up the shallow stairs to the doors. The lion was sticking out its tongue at them.
Inside it was beautiful, in a gothic, graphic-novel gravity-optional kind of way.
The Doctor led them down a long gallery and to the left, knocking once on a door.
"Come." The voice...dripped into Sam's head like an unequal simile.
The Doctor pushed in, Sam on his coattails.
The place was a library, an incredible library, rows and rows leading off into the distance. The whole affair was lit by candles. Sam opened her mouth to say "whoa, fire hazard", and stopped.
There was a singular being seated behind a wooden desk.
His hair was so black there needed to be a new word for it. His skin was pale. Long arms, gangly neck. Big eyes on a lonely-looking face. Behind the desk hung a picture of the most beautiful, cheerful/sad woman she'd ever seen. Same hair. Same pale face. Obviously related. She wore a large ankh.
The Doctor walked right up to the desk, and bowed. In the frock coat, it looked graceful. Then he said one word. "Sheckley."
"Sheckley?" The man repeated.
"Sheckley." The Doctor affirmed.
The man -- was he? for his shadow changed its shape -- leaned his head against one hand and looked at his intruders. "The Doctor. Come to visit my library."
"Well, who wouldn't?"
"Hmmmmmm." Extremely long, extremely pale fingers toyed with a bit of yarn, cat's cradling for an eyeblink and then coming to rest. "You are not often in my realm." Those dark eyes pinned Sam. "Though Samantha I know well."
Sam opened her mouth, and then shut it.
The Doctor clasped his hands behind his back and rocked on his heels. "Well?"
The drip took on a tone of near-amusement. "My brother says you and your kind drive the Gray Women to distraction."
The Doctor grinned. "Well, I certainly hope so. Distraction is when all the really interesting things happen."
One side of the black-haired man's lips quirked, slowly. "So you say." He looked down at a piece of parchment on the desk. Then back up. "All right. You may read them."
A stack of books materialized, like something out of a Star Trek episode, on the corner of the desk.
"Lovely! Delightful of you."
The man was still amused. "Enjoy."
The Doctor scooped up the stack, turned to Sam, and then halted. He spun on his heel. "Um. Listen, I don't suppose..."
A dark eyebrow rose in the white face.
"Since I'm already here."
The other eyebrow rose.
"Any new Terry Pratchett?"
