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applecameronby SV
Archived by author's permission
Based conceptually on B5 Season 5 episode "Day of The Dead"
Spoilers for "Divided Loyalties", and through the end of Season 4.
Notes: This is an alternate take on B5 season 5, with Captain Ivanova running the station. I use the basic "Day of the Dead" concept, but no parallels per se with events in the actual episode. General spoilers up to season 5, particularly "Divided Loyalties".
So, if you're willing to sit still for the DotD concept -- people getting visited by their dead -- then that's all you need to know about that S5 episode.
Two assumptions are made that may or may not be true in the canon universe:
Marcus Cole and Talia Winters are dead. Maybe. ;-)
"Hereafter, in a Better World"
by SV
"Hereafter, in a better world than this,
I shall desire more love and knowledge of you."
Shakespeare, As You Like It.
Prologue
"Oh. My. God." And then she was silent. Mouth poised over the communications link on the back of her hand.
"Not quite, I'm afraid." Came the cheerful response. "Captain, is it now?" As a dead man, he was far more patient.
Ivanova looked down the hallway as the doors to her quarters shut.
"Would somebody like to tell me just what the _hell_ is going on here?"
"I'm here so you can say good-bye, Susan. The others, I don't know what they want. But, you haven't got a lot of time."
Captain Ivanova looked down an assembly line of grief, waiting for her. Opened the door to her quarters and gestured Marcus Cole inside, "If all of you could just take a number, I'll be with you shortly."
Her voice in a faint "I hope" was heard in the hallway, as the captain re-entered her quarters.
I.
Marcus was the first, and the worst. Sort of. Susan stretched, wondering what new guilt lay waiting next for her.
She and the ranger had talked of many things, of the gifts their difficult friendship had been. In some sense, he had been laid to rest in the hard soil of her heart. But it was so very, very hard.
This was the worst day of her life - damn it, it wasn't a day of her *life* at all, it was a day of everyone else's death.
It was *awful*.
She guessed that was partly the point.
Corwin had called her to tell her G'Kar was taking refuge in C and C, which was fine, and, she considered, not entirely unexpected. She was tempted to hide, herself.
Ivanova wasn't keeping track of anyone else, but wondered briefly if Ambassador Delenn saw the ghosts of war dead. If she could just keep her own personal roster in perspective, by dwelling on someone else who might be visited by literal thousands, she herself just might make it sane through this day.
She considered the bottle of vodka. No, not yet.
Marcus, and every person after him had brought the same message from her father, standing farther back in line "just in case, Susatchka, you don't get to me." But he had, and she heard for once from his own lips how proud her father was of her. It was really all he had to say, so she just held him, and then he was gone, leaving her behind. Again.
The door to her quarters was open, but Ivanova kept her head bowed, dreading the next visitor, whomever it might be.
There was a figure at the door. "Penny for your thoughts."
At the voice, Susan lifted her head, but kept her eyes closed until she thought she could bear it.
Finally. "Hello, Talia. Please come in." The mildness in her own voice surprised her, a counterpoint to the shrill screaming in her brain, the memory of watching this woman become someone else. Some*thing* else. The awful sinking feeling in her stomach. The click as the door shut was preternaturally loud.
Oh, God. Please. Don't do this to me.
"Susan." The dead woman stood looking at her quite sadly.
Please, God. "Don't say it." Ivanova was standing in spite of herself, automatically straightening her uniform, hands smoothing the fabric. She remembered suddenly smoothing fabric over Talia's body, and winced.
"Are you --" She couldn't ask. And even if she could, would she believe the answer?
"I'm both, Captain." Both hands spread in a supplicating position. "I'm both." Her hands were shaking. "I hope you can believe me. Maybe that's why I'm here." Even in death, she was wearing a PsiCorps uniform.
Ivanova stayed standing, but tried to keep courteous: "Why don't you take a seat?" Watched the telepath sit gingerly, as if expecting to be mauled by her host. "It could happen", the captain muttered under her breath.
"What was that?"
"Nothing." Anything. Everything.
II.
I can't do this. I won't. You can't make me. But it was happening anyway. Damn you.
"Susan." Talia was calm. She looked at her hands, folded in her lap.
Ivanova moved to the seat farthest away from her guest.
"I'm the last one, you know."
Seeing the captain's furrowed brow: "The last one to see you today. Captain. The end of the line."
"Oh." Ivanova could feel her heart beating in her ears. Did this Talia even have a pulse? Her father had, but was that because she'd expected him to? What where her expectations with this woman?
God is dead. And no one cares. If there is a hell, I'll see you there. Some old song. No. Talia is dead. And this is hell. It came out as a shout, Ivanova unable to sit still. "I trusted you!" She erupted across the room. "Trusted you! We were one day away from telling you EVERYTHING!"
Golden head bowed, then Talia's eyes met her own. Still calm. Defiant even. She nodded. The Corps is Mother, the Corps is Father.
Susan perched opposite her enemy, things horribly clear. Voice deadly soft. Spat, "You're a telepath and you mean to tell me you never knew about that implanted personality. Bullshit. You knew it, somewhere deep down, you knew it. You just couldn't admit it." There. The truth hurts. Too damn bad.
Talia's jaw clenched. "And what about you, Captain?"
"What ABOUT me!"
Winters just looked at her. "I don't know how much time we have." Looked at her, coolly. "I'm here for a reason." Truth hurts. Admit it.
Susan forced herself to breathe. What came next out of her mouth surprised her. "You left me," she accused. Admitted.
Talia blinked. "I didn't mean to." It's not my fault. "I'm sorry. I didn't do it on purpose." I didn't want to hurt you.
Sometimes the truth even sounds inane. Ivanova took the telepath's outstretched hand. Surveyed her, standing slowly. Believing.
"You were afraid to touch me, once." I never wanted to hurt you.
Susan nodded yes. Talia's hand was cold.
"I wish we could have had more than one night." I wanted more.
She came closer, bringing Talia's hand up to her cheek as she kneeled. Her face burned in comparison. "Me, too."
Oh, God.
It was time to let all the truths out, before Talia disappeared like the rest of them. Before all her second chances ran out.
Susan took a deep breath. Closed her eyes and laid down her last card. "I loved you, Talia." She pulled them together, hand firm and confident at the back of Talia Winters' neck.
In that kiss was a thousand-and-one nights of lovemaking, a solid current of passion and lost chances flowing from Talia's lips to Susan's toes and back again. Recognition of choices, of bad luck, of destiny. It was all they had left to say.
III.
"Why were you the last, Talia?"
There was no answer. She was already gone. One kiss would have to last her. Obligation discharged.
Ivanova chuckled sourly, arm covering her eyes, brushing at her tears. Of course.
Alphabetical order.
Archived by author's permission
Based conceptually on B5 Season 5 episode "Day of The Dead"
Spoilers for "Divided Loyalties", and through the end of Season 4.
Notes: This is an alternate take on B5 season 5, with Captain Ivanova running the station. I use the basic "Day of the Dead" concept, but no parallels per se with events in the actual episode. General spoilers up to season 5, particularly "Divided Loyalties".
So, if you're willing to sit still for the DotD concept -- people getting visited by their dead -- then that's all you need to know about that S5 episode.
Two assumptions are made that may or may not be true in the canon universe:
Marcus Cole and Talia Winters are dead. Maybe. ;-)
"Hereafter, in a Better World"
by SV
I shall desire more love and knowledge of you."
Shakespeare, As You Like It.
Prologue
"Oh. My. God." And then she was silent. Mouth poised over the communications link on the back of her hand.
"Not quite, I'm afraid." Came the cheerful response. "Captain, is it now?" As a dead man, he was far more patient.
Ivanova looked down the hallway as the doors to her quarters shut.
"Would somebody like to tell me just what the _hell_ is going on here?"
"I'm here so you can say good-bye, Susan. The others, I don't know what they want. But, you haven't got a lot of time."
Captain Ivanova looked down an assembly line of grief, waiting for her. Opened the door to her quarters and gestured Marcus Cole inside, "If all of you could just take a number, I'll be with you shortly."
Her voice in a faint "I hope" was heard in the hallway, as the captain re-entered her quarters.
I.
Marcus was the first, and the worst. Sort of. Susan stretched, wondering what new guilt lay waiting next for her.
She and the ranger had talked of many things, of the gifts their difficult friendship had been. In some sense, he had been laid to rest in the hard soil of her heart. But it was so very, very hard.
This was the worst day of her life - damn it, it wasn't a day of her *life* at all, it was a day of everyone else's death.
It was *awful*.
She guessed that was partly the point.
Corwin had called her to tell her G'Kar was taking refuge in C and C, which was fine, and, she considered, not entirely unexpected. She was tempted to hide, herself.
Ivanova wasn't keeping track of anyone else, but wondered briefly if Ambassador Delenn saw the ghosts of war dead. If she could just keep her own personal roster in perspective, by dwelling on someone else who might be visited by literal thousands, she herself just might make it sane through this day.
She considered the bottle of vodka. No, not yet.
Marcus, and every person after him had brought the same message from her father, standing farther back in line "just in case, Susatchka, you don't get to me." But he had, and she heard for once from his own lips how proud her father was of her. It was really all he had to say, so she just held him, and then he was gone, leaving her behind. Again.
The door to her quarters was open, but Ivanova kept her head bowed, dreading the next visitor, whomever it might be.
There was a figure at the door. "Penny for your thoughts."
At the voice, Susan lifted her head, but kept her eyes closed until she thought she could bear it.
Finally. "Hello, Talia. Please come in." The mildness in her own voice surprised her, a counterpoint to the shrill screaming in her brain, the memory of watching this woman become someone else. Some*thing* else. The awful sinking feeling in her stomach. The click as the door shut was preternaturally loud.
Oh, God. Please. Don't do this to me.
"Susan." The dead woman stood looking at her quite sadly.
Please, God. "Don't say it." Ivanova was standing in spite of herself, automatically straightening her uniform, hands smoothing the fabric. She remembered suddenly smoothing fabric over Talia's body, and winced.
"Are you --" She couldn't ask. And even if she could, would she believe the answer?
"I'm both, Captain." Both hands spread in a supplicating position. "I'm both." Her hands were shaking. "I hope you can believe me. Maybe that's why I'm here." Even in death, she was wearing a PsiCorps uniform.
Ivanova stayed standing, but tried to keep courteous: "Why don't you take a seat?" Watched the telepath sit gingerly, as if expecting to be mauled by her host. "It could happen", the captain muttered under her breath.
"What was that?"
"Nothing." Anything. Everything.
II.
I can't do this. I won't. You can't make me. But it was happening anyway. Damn you.
"Susan." Talia was calm. She looked at her hands, folded in her lap.
Ivanova moved to the seat farthest away from her guest.
"I'm the last one, you know."
Seeing the captain's furrowed brow: "The last one to see you today. Captain. The end of the line."
"Oh." Ivanova could feel her heart beating in her ears. Did this Talia even have a pulse? Her father had, but was that because she'd expected him to? What where her expectations with this woman?
God is dead. And no one cares. If there is a hell, I'll see you there. Some old song. No. Talia is dead. And this is hell. It came out as a shout, Ivanova unable to sit still. "I trusted you!" She erupted across the room. "Trusted you! We were one day away from telling you EVERYTHING!"
Golden head bowed, then Talia's eyes met her own. Still calm. Defiant even. She nodded. The Corps is Mother, the Corps is Father.
Susan perched opposite her enemy, things horribly clear. Voice deadly soft. Spat, "You're a telepath and you mean to tell me you never knew about that implanted personality. Bullshit. You knew it, somewhere deep down, you knew it. You just couldn't admit it." There. The truth hurts. Too damn bad.
Talia's jaw clenched. "And what about you, Captain?"
"What ABOUT me!"
Winters just looked at her. "I don't know how much time we have." Looked at her, coolly. "I'm here for a reason." Truth hurts. Admit it.
Susan forced herself to breathe. What came next out of her mouth surprised her. "You left me," she accused. Admitted.
Talia blinked. "I didn't mean to." It's not my fault. "I'm sorry. I didn't do it on purpose." I didn't want to hurt you.
Sometimes the truth even sounds inane. Ivanova took the telepath's outstretched hand. Surveyed her, standing slowly. Believing.
"You were afraid to touch me, once." I never wanted to hurt you.
Susan nodded yes. Talia's hand was cold.
"I wish we could have had more than one night." I wanted more.
She came closer, bringing Talia's hand up to her cheek as she kneeled. Her face burned in comparison. "Me, too."
Oh, God.
It was time to let all the truths out, before Talia disappeared like the rest of them. Before all her second chances ran out.
Susan took a deep breath. Closed her eyes and laid down her last card. "I loved you, Talia." She pulled them together, hand firm and confident at the back of Talia Winters' neck.
In that kiss was a thousand-and-one nights of lovemaking, a solid current of passion and lost chances flowing from Talia's lips to Susan's toes and back again. Recognition of choices, of bad luck, of destiny. It was all they had left to say.
III.
"Why were you the last, Talia?"
There was no answer. She was already gone. One kiss would have to last her. Obligation discharged.
Ivanova chuckled sourly, arm covering her eyes, brushing at her tears. Of course.
Alphabetical order.