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applecameronTitle: Laser Beams and Escargot
Author: Apple Cameron
General setting, no plot, pre-current season, no spoilers.
Thank you to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
versaphile for the idea.
Squish.
"I just think it's gross." Jack said.
"What, escargot?" Daniel was half in the shade, half out.
"Actually, sir, they're pretty tasty." Sam supplied.
He sighed and poked a snail with a stick. Probably take an hour for it to react.
They were on leave. Again. Daniel was the one with the pasty skin and cast up to his shoulder and a general air of illness and decrepitude this time. Teal'C was off visiting the Land of Light.
"Just scooping snails up off the ground and eating them?" He made a face.
Two responses came at once, then Daniel and Sam looked at each other, each gesturing for the other to speak first. It was a very Laurel and Hardy, Abbot and Costello moment. Abbot and Costello Meet the Stargate. He'd pay to see that, maybe. Well. Probably on rental. Three dollars, max.
"You know," Daniel spoke with the air of revealing some terrible secret: "they eat a special diet."
Jack grunted.
Sam dropped her tidbit into the conversation. "Did you know there are snails that eat other snails? I saw a website about that this morning."
"Well, I really don't want escargot, now." He poked another one, casually.
Sam was drinking a deliciously cold-looking bottle of Molson, bare feet propped up on the rail. "I don't think that's the special diet in question, sir."
"Carnivorous cannibal snails."
"Yep."
"Killer cannibal snails from hell with an attitude?"
"Wolf snails, sir."
"Cool. Sounds like something a supervillain would have." He curled his toes in the dirt, relishing the feeling after so long underground. "Stick little laser beams on 'em. Attack snails. Give James Bond a run for his money."
Daniel chuckled. "I'm sure Ian Fleming is rolling in his grave right now."
Mock-affronted: "You don't like my evil snails?"
"No one ever appreciates genius during genius' life, Jack." Daniel thumped Jack's shoulder with his foot.
There was a long pause, of the pregnant variety.
"Hey. Are you telling me to fuck off and die?"
"Are there still snails all over the yard?"
Jack stood up, and decided more beer was in order. "Yes."
"Well, then, no."
Author: Apple Cameron
General setting, no plot, pre-current season, no spoilers.
Thank you to
versaphile for the idea.Squish.
"I just think it's gross." Jack said.
"What, escargot?" Daniel was half in the shade, half out.
"Actually, sir, they're pretty tasty." Sam supplied.
He sighed and poked a snail with a stick. Probably take an hour for it to react.
They were on leave. Again. Daniel was the one with the pasty skin and cast up to his shoulder and a general air of illness and decrepitude this time. Teal'C was off visiting the Land of Light.
"Just scooping snails up off the ground and eating them?" He made a face.
Two responses came at once, then Daniel and Sam looked at each other, each gesturing for the other to speak first. It was a very Laurel and Hardy, Abbot and Costello moment. Abbot and Costello Meet the Stargate. He'd pay to see that, maybe. Well. Probably on rental. Three dollars, max.
"You know," Daniel spoke with the air of revealing some terrible secret: "they eat a special diet."
Jack grunted.
Sam dropped her tidbit into the conversation. "Did you know there are snails that eat other snails? I saw a website about that this morning."
"Well, I really don't want escargot, now." He poked another one, casually.
Sam was drinking a deliciously cold-looking bottle of Molson, bare feet propped up on the rail. "I don't think that's the special diet in question, sir."
"Carnivorous cannibal snails."
"Yep."
"Killer cannibal snails from hell with an attitude?"
"Wolf snails, sir."
"Cool. Sounds like something a supervillain would have." He curled his toes in the dirt, relishing the feeling after so long underground. "Stick little laser beams on 'em. Attack snails. Give James Bond a run for his money."
Daniel chuckled. "I'm sure Ian Fleming is rolling in his grave right now."
Mock-affronted: "You don't like my evil snails?"
"No one ever appreciates genius during genius' life, Jack." Daniel thumped Jack's shoulder with his foot.
There was a long pause, of the pregnant variety.
"Hey. Are you telling me to fuck off and die?"
"Are there still snails all over the yard?"
Jack stood up, and decided more beer was in order. "Yes."
"Well, then, no."