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[personal profile] applecameron
Ugh.



Jesu Cristo, I've been so incredibly nauseated all morning, if I were the type of girl prone to...you know, sex, regularly, with, like, you know, men people, I'd worry I was pregnant.

I've been afraid to go out for groceries...because what if I need to puke?

Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.



Cats can almost barf on command[*], can't they? They're such finely tuned animals. It's amazing.

[*]Not on my command, of course. That would almost be cool. Can't you just picture it? Picture Helm's Deep with Haldir and a bunch of cats instead of elves. My god, that'd be great!

Haldir comes marching in with an (irregular, natch) column of cats behind him. Aragorn gets all manly huggy on his ass, Gimli makes a joke, they head for the walls.

The Army of the White Hand attacks.

Haldir yells, "Miuco! Amba!", or maybe "Miuco! Quera amba!".[**]

The cats barf all over the place, sliming the hell out of everything, getting barf all over the bad guys, totally grossing them out. Everyone flees because no one wants to clean up (or climb up) a fortress dripping in cat barf.

Cats sit back in typical cat self-congratulatory manner.



[**] That's, "Cats! Upwards!" in Elvish, or "Cats! Turn upwards!". That's the closest I could get to an 'upchuck' command on two minutes of research. Or maybe he'd just yell, "caimasse!", which means "sick".

on 2005-06-01 03:13 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] umbo.livejournal.com
*hugs*

Hope you feel better soon, sweetie.

on 2005-06-01 03:18 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] applecameron.livejournal.com
Aw, thank you. Writing about cat barf actually helped, some. At least as a distraction.

Maybe there's an alien in my chest and I'm about to pull a John Hurt and explode noisely all over the computer.

Hm. I wonder what the cats would do?

on 2005-06-01 08:35 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] elke-tanzer.livejournal.com
They would bat the little alien around until it stopped doing anything remotely entertaining, of course. And then they would be miffed that their toy refused to play with them.


Hope you feel better soon, hon!

on 2005-06-01 11:20 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] applecameron.livejournal.com
Ha! Or until it ate all their human slaves!

I feel much better. I think maybe I ate something that disagreed with me. I still feel a little off, but not, you know, hurl-worthy.
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