The Little Guy's Point of View (Starsky & Hutch, humor, gen)

Author: Apple Cameron
Title: The Little Guy's Point of View
Fandom: Starsky and Hutch
Spoilers: "Death Ride", season 1 -- MAJOR plot points
Keywords: humor, bad guy's POV

The Little Guy's Point of View
by Apple Cameron

"Shaddap, already." That was Whitey. "What are you, in love with the guy?"

The new kid sat down. "Who in love? Wha?"

The old guy leaned forward and lit his cigarette. "Well, I'll tell ya, kid."

There was a chorus of groans and someone bopped the new kid on the back of his head with a muttered "dammit".
( and so on )

TMI TMI TMI, FOR GOD'S SAKE, TMI, followed by some humor, so, okay

Ugh.

( and ugh, again )

Cats can almost barf on command[*], can't they? They're such finely tuned animals. It's amazing.

[*]Not on my command, of course. That would almost be cool. Can't you just picture it? Picture Helm's Deep with Haldir and a bunch of cats instead of elves. My god, that'd be great!

Haldir comes marching in with an (irregular, natch) column of cats behind him. Aragorn gets all manly huggy on his ass, Gimli makes a joke, they head for the walls.

The Army of the White Hand attacks.

Haldir yells, "Miuco! Amba!", or maybe "Miuco! Quera amba!".[**]

The cats barf all over the place, sliming the hell out of everything, getting barf all over the bad guys, totally grossing them out. Everyone flees because no one wants to clean up (or climb up) a fortress dripping in cat barf.

Cats sit back in typical cat self-congratulatory manner.



[**] That's, "Cats! Upwards!" in Elvish, or "Cats! Turn upwards!". That's the closest I could get to an 'upchuck' command on two minutes of research. Or maybe he'd just yell, "caimasse!", which means "sick".